On Desire

Day 33

Perfection? The kingdom of god is spread upon the earth and man does not see it. Someone to tumble with in this grass would be sweet but as far as solo moments go, pretty near perfect. In tree shadow on sloping grass, facing the water and Hello World tugging on her can. So many other boats, most of them with masts! Behind me the great city yawns and rumbles with AM bustle.

Hello World is so low profile as to be nearly invisible, like a bigger boat that sank. Besides the buzzing and piping of birds, I hear hundreds of masts clanking against thier shackles, the accidental bells of an unplanned devotion. Each sail boat is a place of practice, a temple to the available free energy of wind. Hello World came right into Monroe Harbor under this energy, probably she’s the only boat who did. The rest manuevered to their cans with petrol motors. Out on the Big Lake, they sail.

All projects are test projects. I wonder about ALM, certainly a movie will emerge from this, but am I just setting the stage for a future scheme?
Much of ALM works, but I’m having problems with posting and sharing video. That’s kind of a crucial component. “Look at me I’m traveling” and “here’s what happened today” are not enough of an outcome to justify all the effort and expense. I’m living pretty minimally granted, but I want to offer more than just reporting the trivia of my admittedly unusual life.

Doing this project, I feel like an envoy of destiny, one foot stepping into an incredible possibility, an inevitable present that boggles. Are we really going there? Are we really getting in accord with the momma? I guess by dreaming it, by dedicating a summer to it, I am bringing it forth.

Yes the social aspect matters, it’s gotta make sense. Video and blogging are somehow integral, even if they are ineffective, if hardly anyone is paying attention. The ritual of outreach is what this is about, imaging the ideas flowing out and finding minds, delighting and inspiring. If I act in good faith, eventually the reality will catch up to my dreams.

Hello World is just left of center

A column of Segways passed my shade, surreal

Day 15 – 16

Paused in the Pine Motel parking lot on the way back from Wallys, riding the Zilliax Miyata back to Oval beach in the rain. It was a warm rain and I wanted to add a little more to this blog entry. I stopped there for some solid wireless, dripping and pecking at the screen. I should have just checked in. I got back to Oval Beach and following through on my promise to not camp. I pushed Hello World into the surf and anchored for the night… or so I thought. Once out there snug in the tent, the wind came up and started to buffet the boat. Waves smashed the bottom of the trampoline and rolled down my spine. Backwards and forwards, up and down with Hello World creaking and complaining all the while. I eventually bit the bullet and traded my warmish sleeping bag for a wet wetsuit in preparation for an emergency beaching. The worst thing is to do have to hard manual labor after nearly falling asleep. She was secure by the time first light arrived and I got started getting her ready for a few days alone, hauling gear to the parking lot.

Day 16-19

Susan’s smiling face around 10:00 am then 45 minutes back to Kalamazoo (Kzoo, Kazoo) and Garland Gardens (Vince and Susan’s house). Trot the gear up to my garret and start charging. Quick tour of the home farm, 100+ tomato plants. Vince’s mom and Aunt Rose arrive, then Vince himself from packing his classroom, (they’re refinishing the floors at school over the summer). Pizza for dinner, then off to record Vince performing with the Kalamazoo Mandolin and Guitar Orchestra conducted by Miles Kusik and featuring Carlo Aonzo. There’s an after glow at our house where I finally break out the Larrivee and play and sing with members of KMGO. Vince fuels the evening with homebrew beer.

Since constant vigilance and top performance is not currently required, my body demands rest. I yawn and groan constantly.

Wake up on Thursday and organize the blog and posts. I am way behind and intent on catching up. Processing Vixia video with Final Cut Pro takes time, so the computer and hard drives are constantly munching. In the afternoon take the camera to a practice of Great Lake Aquatics (Akitas) the swimming club and racing team that Vince coaches. His coaching is what I’ve come to document. Use the Aquapac underwater bag for the Vixia successfully, tho it continues to be awkward. Kids are a little creeped out by guy in pool with camera. I am caught of guard when Vince introduces me after practice and do a lame job of explaining the project. Home for dinner with Susan and noodling on guitars. Blackout.

Great Lakes Aquatics Summer Solstice swim meet starts on Friday and I’m there to make movies of the Akitas racing against other clubs from around the Michigan and Canada. Catch a ride there and back with Dan from the team, a habitually happy guy. Big storm sweeps through with winds up to 70 mph on Lake Michigan. I fret for Hello World and put a call into Vicki at Oval Park and text to Dave and Allison at Saugatuck Dunes Coastal Alliance. While waiting for the pot of oopama I am making for the fam and visiting swimmers, get creamed at the card game Set by teens. Spend an hour or so interviewing Vince. Video processing is ongoing, begin to run short on hard drive space. Will have to buy additional drives eventually.

Visit the meet again on Saturday for events with Swim for Success kids. Party again at the house with the meet officials and some of the other coaches. Interesting conversation about how pool swimmers have anxiety about open water. Problematic to move pool swimmers to a wild venue (we got lakes) for promotion and expansion of swimming sports around Michigan. Vince and Susan force me to agree to visit the Ondrej, Mattej and Jan Pekarovic at their goat ranch on the way back to Saugatuck Sunday. I disappear to edit Vince’s video and blow off packing.

I don’t want to leave the tent. 7:20 am, sore and wishing to sleep more. The waves take a little breath now – big surges with a rest in between. That’s a change from yesterday – constant roll and crash.

Finally pushed off at 5:00 pm from Point Betsie after a tedious couple of hours of preparation. The first moments in the water were a comedy teetering on tragedy as the boat lept into the big wind and ran me over. I slid under the trampoline and just caught the tiller bar as it rushed over me. Imagine a backpack laden catamaran arriving in Wisconsin all by herself… That’s the reality I might have blogged about this morning.

Instead we fought 2 hours to go 2 miles south – in a south wind. Negotiating a inexorable procession of kinesthetic questions, shining choices between staying upright and catastrophe.

Imagine ground that lifted and sank against your feet, endlessly twisting and folding into itself. If every step required tight concentration and presence, would you, could you walk?

On my first day, 2 hours was all I could handle, so the end of the day was a convenience. I slid into e beach and wrestled with Hello World in the sucking surf, eventually stabilizing her with the help of Kari who appeared all smiles and shivers.

She watched my days end ritual and gave me a bagel from Lychaim Deli, to life! Relief in realizing I wasn’t out there anymore. It was a tough start.

Kevin and Brenda built a beach fire and made me stay up until 1:00 am talking! Cool folks and local too, great to meet them and a wonderful way to bring in Wednesday.

Movie: 10-06-01 ALM 2010 Launch (computer, phone)

Two – count ‘em – two new chapters are available for your viewing pleasure, both documenting my two night sojourn on North Manitou Island. Disasters and blessings interpenetrate.

09-09-09 Crescent City under Hello World (newer OS)
09-09-09 Crescent City under Hello World (older OS)

09-09-10 North Manitou Becalmed (newer OS)
09-09-10 North Manitou Becalmed (older OS)

Back in Brooklyn after a 13 hour drive with my brother Steve yesterday. We’ve got a date today to help a mutual friend with his apartment, then Steve will be heading back to Michigan on Wednesday. Meanwhile, wow! What’s it like to be back in the burghs of NYC after almost 5 months of water work and wilds? As we flowed through the three and four lane feed lines of Manhattan yesterday evening, I couldn’t help comparing the presence of the Big Lake with the approaching Big City. Caught in a cluster of steel quanta hurtling along animated asphalt, eerie lights barely penetrating the dark jumble and riot of overpowered civilization. Just a week or so prior, the shape of distant clouds determined the day and the tickle of wind on my cheek was significant. Awesome energies inherent in either scenario, and perhaps there is relationship, commonality. I am the bridge between them certainly and they are both wonders of the planet earth at this general locus of space time. Could there be more?

Hello World

I jettisoned the sludge around 9:00 am and headed southwest, with the intention of hyper jumping 40 miles across the UP and camping just past the Garden Peninsula on summer island. It was to be a short and very intense day.

The wind was blowing from the NE at a solid 15 – 20 mph and the swells were 10+ feet from trough to crest. The first 2 hours were some of the most exhilarating and awe inspiring I’ve ever lived.

For those of you who ski or snowboard, think about moguls. Approaching a field of moguls at speed, the mind slips into a space where evaluation and reaction blend together, we observe our decisions rather than make them. Now imagine the moguls moving, rising up and collapsing all around, rushing at you, pulling away.

A Hobie 16 has two basic controls, the tiller by which the rudders turn the boat and the sheet lines that control the tension on the main sail and the jib, which determines how fast the boat moves. When running with the wind, the jib may not be so important as it is often blocked by the main sail. On this day only the tiller (direction) and main sheet line (speed) are relevant.

Technical explanation starts…

Airplanes are sucked up into the air, not thrust up into it. Airfoils (wings) are so shaped that air traveling over the wing is moving faster than air traveling under the wing, lowering the air pressure at the top because the fast moving air thins out. Lower pressure (vacuum) at the top sucks the wing up.

A fabric sail can take a wing shaped profile too and that’s the most efficient kind of sailing, enabling boats to go faster than the wind. Instead of going up, the sailing ‘wing’ is pulled forward. When the wind is coming from directly behind the sailboat and the sheet is at right angles to the hull, the wing shape isn’t possible because the wind only has access to one side of the sail. In this situation the sail is pushed by the wind so the speed of the boat is about the same as the speed of the wind.

Loosening the sheet lines allows the sail to swing towards 90 degrees, decreasing speed. Tightening the sheet with a corresponding change of direction enables the wind to travel past both sides of the sail, increasing speed. Keep in mind that going slower doesn’t mean stopping. Running with a 15 mph wind, the boat will be traveling about 15 mph. The only way to apply brakes is to get out of the wind. Imagine a car that could only slow down only if it turned 180 degrees. Might be tough to u-turn if you are going 50 mph.

Wait a minute, 15 mph isn’t very fast! Going 15-20 mph on a 16 ft Hobie cat on big water feels like going 50 mph on a motorcycle or 90 mph in a car.  Screwing up in any case could be bad. There’s loose ropes to get tangled up in, big hunks of aluminum and fiberglass flying through the air if the hobie flips and of course plenty of water for drowning. Trust me, 15-20 mph on a Hobie cat is intense.

Technical explanation ends…

Esoteric explaination begins…

Sailing is a collaboration between the crew, the boat and the local manifestation of the universe. Think about this – the sailboat and sailor are a synergy, alone they can do nothing but together they form a unique entity, a sailing being. The sailor senses and acts with her entire body, the face and hands read the direction and speed of the invisible wind, the eyes take in sail telltales and shape, what the water is up to and where the hell she is going. The body feels the swell and drop of the boat on the water, the pitch and roll of the hulls. The ears hear how the boat frame is twisting, the song of the rudders, how the water is rushing past the hulls and the bluster of the air as it interacts with the boat. In intense wind complete body presence is required, an absolute activation of sense and ability. It’s an ecstatic state, an excellent terror.

Can a boat be conscious? I give my consciousness to the boat and integrate myself (submerge or release) into the aluminum, dacron and steel. I can think, but it’s SO not needed – and can even be a dangerous. I give my mentation to the synergy and it spreads out over the whole being, into every rope and wire. What I am has fuzzy edges, my edges don’t stop at my skin or even the hulls and sails. I am the surging water, the moving air, the warming sun or the ominous clouds – it’s all relevant. Effective action in the center of a synergy is thought free, I am not because I think, I am because I am. Once I let it out and open it up, consciousness is clearly everywhere. Getting in that space is to tap into true power.

Esoteric explaination ends…

Ok so, enough exposition, back to the story. I am on a 16 foot Hobie Cat with about 500 lbs of cargo. That’s the equivalent of 3 medium sized sailors, close to the maximum crew capacity for the Hobie 16. 330 lbs of that is dead weight, backpacks that need to be shifted and secured for proper balance. Live crew would supposedly go where they were told without pushing and prodding. I am wearing a harness hooked into a long wire attached to the mast, this let’s me shift my weight to where it’s needed to balance the boat. Left hand ready on the sheet line and right hand grabs the tiller. There’s a 15-20 mph wind behind the boat and 15 foot waves rising and collapsing all around, moving approximately in the same direction as the wind.

Here’s a taste of what inner dialog might sound like if there was time to have it. The following paragraph would take about 3 seconds in realtime and my reactions would be automatic, without deliberation.

We (me and Hello World) tighten the sheet (sheet in) and turn slightly to the left (port) to rush up the sloping back of a big wave, lining up with the wave with a slight starboard turn as we reach the tippy top.  As the wave crest white caps and curls, we teeter over the brink and hurtle down the wave’s face, dropping 15 feet over 20 feet of forward travel, immediately loosening the sheet (sheet out) and sliding over to port to keep the forward tips of our hulls from digging into the bottom of the wave’s trough. As the hulls glide into the trough we sheet in to accelerate up the next wave… but wait, the next wave is already collapsing, we’re in a wind shadow from the wave we just rode. Hard to port, sheet in and accelerate! Racing parallel to the waves, we find another wave to climb – faster! Don’t let a big wave hit us broadside and roll us over, here it comes – too late! Hard turn to starboard, ass to the wave and surf it for all it’s worth, sheet out! Turn to port, sheet in and up out of the new trough, quick!

Sheet in, sheet out, weave back and forth, climb and surf – for two hours! I felt fluid, automatic, intuitive. All the endless hours as a kid on the Hobie 14 came back to me, the tai chi like slow motion sailing in hardly a puff of wind, the hold on for dear life crazy ass blowing shouting for survival. All that time I was just playing around, thrills and fun – of no consequence, no importance… or so I thought. That experience came bubbling up to serve me in the moment. I didn’t know I knew how to sail like that. It was sublime.

After two hours the wind let up a bit and I could come off of DEFCON 5 – high alert. Though it never felt like stress or unpleasant, just scary and wonderful.

With all this heavy manuevering, Zilliax’s bike began to eat through it’s ropes. One bungie stood between me and total disaster, I had to stop for an emergency fix.  To have a frigging bicycle dragging under the boat in these conditions would be unthinkable and horrific. So it was that I crash landed on the next available spit of land. Coming in at a moderately high speed, we hit the shallow stony bottom and skidded over 50 feet with much crunching and grinding. I jumped off and secured the bike while Hello World was rocked back and forth on it’s hard perch. Getting her out of the shallows was an epic feat, but at last we were back in open water.

I knew that Summer Island was just beyond the last point on the Garden Peninsula, but point after point passed without any sign of an island. After another hour or so of hard sailing, I started thinking about taking a break. To the north, a tempting blowout beckoned. I decided to turn right and give it a rest…

1:00 pm when we landed, 4 hours total transit time, with an hour spent fixing bike ropes and sidetracking to a rest stop. 40 miles in an intense 3 hours. A personal, phew, record.

Brisk north wind of 15 knots with gusts up to 25! Then there were the waves, crest to trough 4-5 ft at times. Sail up and over, big splash, do it again. After about 14 miles of tacking nw and ne to move 9 miles north, I was ready for a break and a rope check.

After running long vectors across the entire bay, I moved close to the east shore. The low dunes I’d spotted couldn’t be identified with the iPhone, but they looked remote and cottage free. As I approached I picked out sunbathers. A friendly chap named Gerry helped pull up the cat and informed me that there was a campsite above the beach, $25 for powered sites or $21 for unpowered. So much for remote.

A staff member at Barnes, Dillon, later told me I could stay on the beach as long as I wanted. I’ve decided to wait for the wind to slow and change direction from north to south as forecast. Plenty of nice folks here. Mark and Kathy of Onekema left me a care package.

Harvesting the sun to charge batteries and catch up on blogging.

Draining the hulls - a lot of water came out, maybe that's why the boat seemed sluggish in the big wind.

Even a sailboat has an environmental cost. Rebuilding Hello World was intended as a low impact project, not a sustainable project as I defined it a few days ago. Not only was electricity and petroleum poured into the tools, lights and vehicles supporting the repairs, but waste was produced. The steel paint and acetone cans can be recycled and the 30 year old grinder can be dropped off at an electronics recycling box. The big bag of garbage and the vacuum cleaner bags full of fiberglass dust however are destined for the landfill. About 35 lbs of waste was generated to renovate 300 lbs of 30 year old sailboat. About 4 – 6 ounces of fiberglass / mineral dust and and a gallon of VOCs escaped into open air.

Once the entire budget has been tallied I’ll be able to make a wild guess at the carbon cost of the project.

Big Bear makes the point that wind turbine and solar panel factories are powered by coal fired and nuclear power plants and therefor wind and solar power are far from sustainable. Is anything we do sustainable? Do we have any technologies that are in accord with the global life support system?

Yesterday was momentous. Thanks to advice from Christin Shacat I researched the Division 1 and 2 Transpac skippers. I also blasted Apple execs with an inspiring email, strategized with Kai for an hour and implemented Twitter. What’s it all about? Collaboration.

Why collaboration is good…

Certainly our current resources are adequate to make ‘On Desire’. We are blessed with two intelligent, attractive and articulate visionaries – an experienced solo sailer and an almost acclaimed filmmaker. We’ve got a sturdy boat soon to be equipped and supplied for the long haul, a mobile HD production and post-production kit and a modest but adequate operating budget. We’ve also blessed with a vibrant network of excellent friends and family. If all we did was document our discussions and discoveries for a month or two in the 8 seas we’d have a pretty compelling project.

Based on lessons learned from posting DOG, doing it alone is not ideal. To really amp up the fun, we’ve got to add holes! Holes are where the collaborators go.

For example, because Jeff Gibbs has infected me with his no jetting meme, I’ve got to find a boat to Hawaii. That’s not a problem, that’s a hole. Holes create space for collaborators. Finding collaborators for the boat hole has expanded On Desire’s scope. What sorts of boats travel to Hawaii? Container ships and racing sail boats.

Container ships are integral to global trade. What would sustainable global trade look like? Do shipping companies like Matson or Horizon Lines have a vision for sustainable operations? Matson’s parent company, Alexander and Baldwin, Inc. advocates sustainable practice when describing it’s agribusiness, power generation and real estate operations in Hawaii. Reaching out to these companies has become much more than finding a ride, they could become key collaborators in the project.

The Transpac 2009 is starting at the end of June. A fleet of racing yachts will sail from California to Oahu over the course of a couple of weeks. Many of these boats integrate sophisticated design and exotic synthetic materials. They are often skippered by uber successful entrepreneurs in science and business. Since this community is so savvy about harvesting solar power (wind), it’s easy to imagine them contributing mightily to a sustainable future.

Of course, even sailboats make a significant footprint in their construction. I’ll be speaking with the Transpac Commodore later today. I wonder if the racing community recognizes boats that integrate lower energy and less toxic construction techniques and materials? Could boats with dacron sails get a starting advantage over those with mylar sails?

There’s plenty of other holes besides how I get to Hawaii. As a recovering consumer, I choose products that lean toward sustainability. Computers and cameras are a nessisary evil if one wants to make movies, chock full of petroleum, heavy metals and rare earths as they are. Apple products are well designed and built to last, so I’ve invited Steve Jobs and Apple execs to loan On Desire an additional Macbook Pro. There are plenty of other companies I’d enjoy reaching out to for loaners or corporate support, eg Tiffen for a Merlin Steadicam, Vibram for a wrap around pair of Five Fingers, Lectrosonics for watertight radio mics, Canon for a B camera Vixia. I think this differs from traditional product placement because these are products we are already using to meet On Desire’s objectives.

If a collaborator is in alignment with On Desire’s objectives and they are confident we can meet them, they’ll likely sign on. Everywhere I look I see holes, glorious holes!